The BearPair's Lair

Safe, Sane and Consensual
Facts on Hot and Heavy Safer Sex

Based on a brochure produced by the Howard Brown Health Center, 1999

 

Stay in Control of your Mind and Body

Know your partner’s body and your own body. If you are aware of cuts and scrapes, you can keep blood and semen from getting into the bloodstream.

Use code words or “safe” words to let your partner know when things are getting too rough or more than you can handle. Codes can be a great part of a fantasy scene.

Drugs and Alcohol are often used to enhance sexual experiences. Drugs and alcohol affect everyone differently. They can impair your ability to make good decisions and lower your inhibitions. Sometimes they can cause otherwise rational people to behave unsafely. Many scenes may be safer sober when all partners are in control of their minds and bodies.

Set your own limits. Tell your partner what your limits are and be creative when you negotiate safer sex. Let your partner know that you care about him and yourself.

Hot, Heavy Leather Sex

The smell, feel and taste of leather makes a lot of men hard. A smack on the ass, a pinched tit, a dildo up the butt hole, or being tied up while your balls are squeezed hard that's HOT! But transmitting HIV — that's NOT!

Imagine being bound while a hot man rubs his leather-clad pouch in your face. He takes out his hard cock and slaps your cheek, rolls you over, and while you lick his boots he jerks off, shooting hot cum all over your back. Safer doesn't mean vanilla. SAFER IS HOT!

If HIV might be present in your scene, here's something to consider…if blood or semen (including cum or precum) enters your body or bloodstream, HIV can be transmitted. Remember: watch out for cuts, tearing, lacerations, fresh piercings, and anything that goes inside your body, dicks and dildoes included.

Take a trip to the Toy Shop

There's nothing like the sharp sting of crops, whips or cat-o-nine-tails across your skin. If you're on the receiving end, tell him to whip you into a frenzy, but to stop before breaking the skin. Set your limits and know his limits.

Ever see those men with great nipples? Chances are those tits have been worked hard. Tit clamps turn ordinary nipples into hotbeds of erotic sensation. Try them on, turn them up, feel the heat, but don’t break the skin; keep them undamaged for future safe tit play.

It's great having a big fat dildo up your ass. It never goes limp and it doesn't need breakfast in the morning. Get your very own…it could be your best friend. If you share, slap a condom on that dildo and change it between partners. When you're finished, wash it clean. If you can't get enough of that loving feeling, get a butt-plug for a full day of pleasure. And keep it clean.

Remember, toys and other instruments need to be cleaned after a solo, and especially before they're shared. Use soap and water for cleaning, bleach for disinfecting, and good old water for rinsing.

Hot, Hard Basics

Before he pushes you down on your knees and glides his hot dick over your lips, make sure there are no cuts or open sores in your mouth, including your cheeks and gums. That's why it's best to hold off on brushing teeth or flossing for at least two hours before and two hours after sucking cock. Make him moan. Even though you're on your knees, you're still in control. Right before he comes, pull back and let him cum all over your chest; this way you lower the risk of transmission even further.

To make sucking cock safest, place a flavored condom in your mouth and then slide it over his cock. Practice makes the perfect safer, hot blowjob.

Fucking, Fisting & Rimming

If you want to stuff his hot ass, then make him slide a latex or polyurethane condom on your throbbing cock for his safety and yours. Then make him cover your prick and balls with water-based lube. Get them nice and slick and then tell him to relax as you ram it in. If you've shot your load inside the condom, hold the base of the condom tightly against your dick while pulling out to make sure no cum leaks out.

If you're going to fuck and fist… then fuck first. Put on those long latex gloves and coat them with water-based lube. It may be tempting, but don't use oil-based lubes. They can hang around in your ass and chew-up latex condoms if you're fucked later. When you're fisting or being fisted, the more lube the better. Crisco is not a water-based lube.

Eating ass is a tradition as old as sex itself. Eat his ass before he gets fucked. When a hot man sits his ass on your face, make sure he's clean. And if you want extra protection, cover that crack with plastic wrap, a condom cut length-wise or a dental dam. If piss is your game, don't worry, there are no major risks associated with watersports. So have fun and let it flow.

Remember, when you're eating ass, it's not so much HIV you need to worry about; it’s other STD’s like hepatitis A and C, as well as bacterial and parasitic infections.

For the Advanced Player

The mere texture, odor or sight of shit can turn-on any scat man. Just like eating ass, the major worry isn't HIV but other wicked germs. To be safest, keep shit away from your and your partner's mouth.

Leading a hot man around by his pierced cock or tit can be a great way to start a scene. Whether you're going to add to a body that's already a work of art or you're going to pierce a first timer, always use a new, sterile needle and only use it on one person.

Letting someone brand your body forever with a hot iron is one of the ultimate signs of obedience. If you are going to submit to someone else's mark, make sure that the branding iron is only used on you. Wear that brand with pride, but make sure you give it plenty of time to heal or cover it up before your next scene.

Snap your riding crop across a smooth, shaved chest; watch the welts raise faster than your dick. To get that chest smooth and ready for action, use a disposable razor and use it on one person only. But give the skin a couple of hours to heal before play.

Piercing, shaving, and branding can create new windows for HIV to get in the body. But that doesn't mean the pleasure has to stop. Time taken to cover exposed cuts or burns can be used to plan out your next scene. Cover your ass, figuratively and literally.

The Good, The Bad, & The Maybe

The following guidelines are just that: rough guidelines. There is no way we could list all the things that we could still do safely. There is no way to clearly define what level of risk some activities pose. Keep in mind that when you get someone’s blood, cum, or vaginal fluids in your body, you are at risk for exposure to HIV.

ACTIVITY	LITTLE OR NO RISK	SOME RISK	HIGH RISK
Fucking without a condom			X
Fucking WITH a condom		X
Sucking someone AND swallowing			X
Sucking someone without a condom		X
Sucking someone WITH a condom		X
Finger fucking		X
Fisting (WITH a latex glove)		X
Piercing (not sharing needles)		X
Branding/Scarification		X
Bondage	X
Whipping	X
Scat in the mouth*		X
Scat on unbroken skin*	X
Mutual masturbation/Body rubbing	X
Rimming*		X
Dildoes and sex toys (shared)			X
Dildoes and sex toys (NOT shared)	X
Dry kissing	X
French kissing		X
Fantasies/Phone sex	X

*Does not necessarily transmit HIV virus, but can transmit hepatitis, gonorrhea, syphilis and other STDs.

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PETER PLEASURE'S PLEASURE PRINCIPLES