Our Thoughts on the Leather/BDSM Scene

Many people consider the practice of bondage, discipline, dominance or submission as evil or perverted. We are not among those. We believe that these psycho-sexual roles can be safe (and enjoyable) provided certain conditions are met:

• The participants must be adults capable of giving informed consent. (This implies that all participants fully understand all of the risks involved in these activities.)
• All participants must be willing participants -- no one should be forced, tricked or coerced in any way to participate.
• All participants must understand and be willing to respect the limits, desires, and preferences of the other participants.
• If sex is involved, it should always follow the Safer Sex guidelines.

There is a difference between BDSM practiced responsibily and abuse.

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Responsibilities

In a Master and slave relationship, there must be a division of responsibility and obligation. These clearly defined parameters are absolutely necessary to the success of the relationship. The typical gay family or lover arrangement seldom, if ever, identifies and clearly defines the individual's role within the relationship.

In all things, the Master must be concerned for the slave's well-being as He sees it just as the slave must be concerned for the Master's well-being.

A Master accepts a significant responsibility when He accepts a slave into His service. He deserves the slave's attention and devotion. When interacting with the Master, a slave should be constantly aware that he has dedicated himself to satisfying the Master's desires. Making unnecessary demands upon the Master's time or His resources, whether physical, emotional, or financial, is not seeking to please Him, it is seeking self-pleasure and is not appropriate behavior.

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Master (Defined)

Webster's New World Dictionary:

"master n. 1. a man who rules others or has control 2. an expert 3. a title"

For our purposes a Master is a man (or woman) who has the skill, ability and desire to own and/or control at least one slave on a long-term basis.

Master's Responsibilities

The Master's main responsibility is to do everything within His power to maximize the potential of his slave(s); and that potential can be awesome. As Master, He is responsible for freeing the slave from limitations and requiring the slave to excel in every part of life. The Master's general responsibilities are:

• Maintaining and protecting the trust bestowed upon Him by the slave's submission. A good Master will see the slave's submission as a priceless gift (a good slave sees it in that light as well).
• Clearly establishing the terms and conditions of the slave's service, including restrictions on the slave's activities and the Master's rights to use the slave.
• Ensuring the physical, emotional and spiritual health and safety of the slave.
• Providing training, guidance and direction so that the slave might achieve his true potential.
• Exercising care and sound judgment in all things, remembering that in all things the slave's condition and conduct reflects directly upon the Master.
• Establishing and maintaining effective lines of communications.

 

Slave (Defined)

Webster's New World Dictionary:

"slave n. 1. a human being who is owned by another 2. one dominated by some influence"

In our society owning slaves as chattel or property is illegal--and we believe properly so since it implies that a person can be forced into or kept in slavery without a choice. The slave we consider here is a slave by choice; a person who has willingly submitted to a Master's control (influence) with full knowledge and understanding of the life-style that is entailed.

Notwithstanding the illegality of holding slaves as property, we do believe that someone who has submitted himself a Master and committed to a D/s relationship, should be treated like property. This does not mean that they are treated badly or without concern. It does mean that they are treated without the emotional connections usually associated with very close personal relationships.

 

Slave's Responsibilities

A slave is obligated to have a clear understanding of the terms and conditions of his submission, and what restrictions are placed upon him. The slave has willingly surrendered all freedom to his Master and agreed to His domination and control. As long as the slave remains in this relationship, he is expected to obey his Master without question or hesitation. A slave's general responsibilities include:

• Ensuring that he does nothing to endanger or threaten his health and well-being, that of the Master, or that of the Master's household.
• Notifying the Master of any changes in the slave's physical, mental or emotional health or well-being. A slave should also share with the Master any significant changes in the slave's personal attitude. (Sharing such changes in attitude could prevent serious complications in the relationship.)
• Freely communicating with the Master, no matter what other restrictions may be imposed upon the slave. The importance of communication cannot be overemphasized--it is an essential element of any relationship.
• Being honest, open, available, and accessible physically, mentally, and spiritually to the Master at all times.
• Exercising care and sound judgment in all things, remembering that in all things the slave's conduct reflects directly upon the Master.
• Understanding that a slave's primary function is to serve and please the Master. Success or failure in this regard is measured not only in terms of how effectively it is accomplished, but the manner in which it is accomplished.
• Understanding that a slave's secondary function is to be both desirable and pleasing as he serves his Master. This includes being consciously concerned with the Master's pleasure and well-being, solicitous of His needs and of the various means in which the slave might be more pleasing to Him.

 

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The BearPair BDSM Crede

• We believe that slavery is a serious lifestyle and neither a form of play nor an acted out work of fiction.
• We believe that slaves are valuable assets to be managed and maintained for mutual benefit.
• We believe that discipline originates within the individual and must be encouraged and nurtured.
• We believe that punishment must suit the offense. Willful or negligent disobedience demands harsh punishment. Time in the dungeon or playroom is never used as punishment.
• We believe in showing appreciation for service well delivered.
• We believe that a slave may question an order to gain fuller understanding but may not question the duty to obey.
• We believe that the Master's authority is established initially by mutual agreement and continuously merited by subsequent deeds.
• We believe that the slave's submission is established initially by mutual agreement and continued with the consent of the slave. A slave may withdraw consent for cause and any continued use past that point becomes abuse.
• We believe in using slaves to the fullest extent of their abilities.
• We believe slaves must never be abused.
• We believe in loving our slaves but not being in love with them.
• We believe that all members of the family, Masters and slaves, must work together to make the family the best it can be.

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