We Are The BearPair
We are a mature gay couple that has been together since July 1976.
It certainly has not been easy, but it has been worth the effort. We have a comfortable home in San Antonio, TX. We enjoy movies, theater, and entertaining. We have been openly gay members of the community for many years.
This photo of us actually appeared on the front page of Frederick (Maryland) News-Post a few years ago as part of an article concerning gay marriages. (We were quoted accurately in the article that we do not consider our relationship to be a marriage since marriage connotes certain legal and social rights that we, as a gay couple, do not have.)
We are usually identified as part of the "bear" community. In this context a bear is a MAN with a significant growth of facial and body hair. Although some also differentiate bears by their size, we believe a bear can come in many sizes. Beardom is more a matter of mind (and furriness) than of bulk. There is a "code," called the Natural Bears Classification System (NBCS), that has been developed to rate a bear's characteristics. It can be fun to play with although you don't see it used very often today, even on the bear sites.
We have been involved in the gay community on many levels -- including roles as observer, participant, fund-raiser, organizer, entertainer, and activist. There is some information on our backgrounds and activities below as well as throughout the rest of this site. If you would like to know more about us, send a message to us outlining what you would like to know and why. Who knows, it may lead to an interesting dialogue.
Shack
My name is Dan Shackelford. I am webmaster of this site
and one part of The BearPair. I have been called "Shack" or "Master Shack" throughout most of my adult
life. (Coincidentally my father's nickname in the Army was also "Shack.") I am an avid science fiction fan —
some might say fanatic — and an equally avid dragon collector. I am a service-disabled veteran and am proud to serve
my Country now as a mid-level career Civil Servant; if you have a problem with that this may be a good time to leave. The
"vital statistics" of my career, for those of you who are so inclined, can be found here.
I have been asked many times what it is like to be gay and in the Civil Service, or to be gay and in a management position.
Quite frankly, I find the question a bit mystifying. What is it like to be non-gay and in the Civil Service or to be non-gay
and in a management position? Personally, I believe an individual's sexual preferences or practices are irrelevant to his or
her professional performance (unless he or she is employed in a sex-oriented business - but that is a completely different
issue). I have always made it a practice to establish my professional qualifications on the job before revealing anything
about my personal life; although if asked, I will not deny my lifestyle or even try to change the subject. And, yes I have
been the "victim" of discrimination on the job during a brief break between my military and Civil Service careers. That
experience demonstrated to me the problems of sexual harrassment and allowing sexuality to interfer with professionalism.
I consider myself a reasonably well-rounded craftsman. There isn't much in the arts and crafts area I have not tried and
done reasonably well at. (Well, I did make something of a bloody mess when trying to learn to work with stained glass, but
the project did get finished and looked pretty good.) I am comfortable using power tools of all sorts. I have not tried
welding yet, but who knows, maybe next month... I have had a stint as a painter (I prefer working with acrylics but have
tried oil paint, enamels, and watercolor) and my work sold reasonably well for the few years that was my passion. I absolutely
love doing computer rendered art - my current passion.
Dutch
My name is Chuck although most people call me Dutch or Dutchess. I
am the other half of The BearPair. The Dutchess nickname comes from my
involvement with the Imperial Court System (ICS). For many years in the
ICS I held the title of Grand Duchess and decided to make that part of
the nickname I used regularly -- although with the change in spelling
to differentiate the name from the title. Guys in the leather scene seemed
to have a problem with a Master (or slave) named Dutchess so I butched
it up for them and shortened the nickname to Dutch.
I have had many jobs over the years. I have been a Navy Medical Corpsman,
religious brother, professional female impersonator, gourmet chef and
catering manager, antiques dealer, newspaper columnist, retail store
manager, radio talk show host, and many other too numerous to list here.
When I was a young man a doctor told me I would be blind by the time
I was 40 and probably would not live beyond 50. I am still alive well
beyond 50 and can see very well but at the time it scared me and I decided
to see and do as much as I possibly could while I had the time. I think
I have done a pretty good job of it.
Our Extended Family
"The BearPair" includes a rather large extended family that ranges
throughout the United States. Many of these men, and women, started with
us as friends or came to us for guidance or training. Most stayed with
us for many years and eventually went on to establish families of their
own. One of our sons, slaveboymike, has his personal website associated
with ours because the information ties in so well. You can find his website
here. If you would like to know
more about our extended family or how to join us, please contact
us.
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New Year's Eve 2006 On New Year's Eve 2006 Dutch was in a skilled nursing
facility waiting for surgery to close some diabetic ulcers on his feet. It looked like it might be the first New
Year's Eve we did not celebrate together in the last 29 years. Not wanting to put a damper on the New Year, Dutch
encouraged Shack to go out and celebrate with friends. Although Shack agreed to this suggestion with some reservation,
he had other plans. With approval from the Chief Nurse of the facility, Shack arrived shortly before midnight with
balloons, streamers, a split of champaign and two champaign flutes. It was a wonderful celebration and the talk of
the nursing facility for several days afterward.
(PS: The surgery was done in mid January and was very successful. Now Dutch just needs to regain
the leg strength he lost while bed-ridden for over a year.) |
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